I really sometimes hope my mother doesnt read this ..

HAHA cuz I am about to talk about something ... personal lol See .. for the 1st time in a long time, I am, well, how shall we say it .. bluntly I guess, horny. Ms Makes me Giddy has now done more than make me giddy .. She has aroused me, oh my! Ive never been one to shy away from daily masturbation, but lately, its several times .. and what I thinking about?? Her! YUP and the play time/scenes we've had together .. its just been so fucking HOT for me *grins* and I think She is enjoying it too!

I've kinda told her that I am excited about this aroused state she has put me in .. I've explained I have no expectations from anything we do together, or might do together *grins* but that I am thoroughly enjoying Her touching and teasing and little kisses *smiles and blushes*

One of my issues is .. initiating .. for some reason I seemed to lose the ability to initiate, anything, especially anything that might be in sexual context. I did go waaaay out on a limb and sent Her a naughty text last week ... I had been accused of being a flirt several weeks before and denied that, and so when She came home and commented on the text, I said "that is me flirting" .. but beyond that, I am kinda stuck .. submissive to a fault I am.

but .. smiles ... I think somewhere along the line, as the arousal overtakes my every thought process, I will put myself out there and at least flirt better, if I can get any initiating done lol, or maybe She will reach that passion and just be the initiater ...but I think being the Dominant, there is lesson here for Her to teach me in making me be the one to do it lol EVERYTHING is always a learning and growing process .. geesh lol

anyways ... off to visit Mr Hitachi and hoping he doesnt buzz loud enough to be heard 2 rooms over!! *hehe*

HNT ~ knife play

This was one of my very first knife play scenes

I got to wear pink princess panties
to be cut off me .. it was SO hot!

clicky click click *smiles*

She used pretty pink stuff
and rope to bind me ...
and fur to tease me with!
along with other toys that made it into the shot :)

HAPPY HNT!

OK .. its that time ..

I need to start looking for a job. That means I need to decide what I want to do with my life. With my lack of experience at anything other than inbound customer service jobs, and my chronic fatigue which limits how much standing/lifting/physical activity I can do, it makes that decision so much more difficult.

I am not office secretary/receptionist material .. I simply can not do the 8-5 Mon-Fri dress up kinda thing. Im not organized and whilst I am familiar with, I dont really know many Office Programs.

Ive tried data entry before .. but it's ona those things I am just not good at .. the chronic fatigues short term memory lapses, really have me struggling to look at something and remember it long enough to look at where I am entering it to, and then enter it .. sounds silly I know but its the best explanation I can give until you experience it

No restaurant or food service .. just not physically able

I still more than anything would love to open my own store .. but the funds needed, and this economy, I just do not think it would be feasible at this time. I would love to work in a fun little shop of some sort but, most wont pay enough ... right now I am living off 300 a week, and that is doable, but its still more than min wage will make me.

I thought abut maybe be an airport shuttle driver, but quirky me is convinced some serial killer/rapist is going to end up on a long drive alone with me and *POOF* no more pixie .. (it COULD HAPPEN!! lol)

Im also scared of what will happen to me emotionally ... blah ... I know I am going to end up back on the phones, that's just what it is I know how to do ..


Yeah I know, I am a total dork .... just to top off all of my other quirks lol

so anyways .. the job hunt begins Monday .. will keep ya posted!

Tragic's Wake ...

Soooo what seems forever ago now I found me an internet "twin", GrrlTragic, twitter... funny enough though, this is my 2nd internet "twin" .. the 1st one shares my real name with me!

My girl Tragic however ... wow ... the life coincidences we share are eerie sometimes! (like she shares the same 1st and middle name of my adopted mom, for one!)

She has been on an evolving path of her life lately (another thing we are sharing!), a rather profound one .. and had a calling for a change, for a rebirth of her existence ... and in that, Tragic's Wake has been born, and is being brought to life.

She will captivate and entrap you *winks* well worth your internet time to go check her out!!