the Hysterectomy ... a big deal?

So we all know i am one for getting attention .. i love being doted on and spoiled and some of the attention for having surgery is nice. Some of it though seems to be, I dunno ..odd to me. People act like its this tragic thing to have ones uterus removed, and I understand for some woman why it is, I do .. but for me, this is not the case.

A few years ago I seen on a TV show that a woman could have the hysterectomy and leave the ovaries and not go into instant menopause and not have periods anymore..my immediate reaction was DAMN how do I get that done!?

I found out last night I have a grandmother who passed of Uterine cancer ( I knew it was cancer I vcouldnt remember if it had been ovarian or uterine). In the finding out my Aunt found out I was having surgery and immediately had me on the phone. Can she come, can she tell my dad - I wanted to say no no no but, ugh sometimes you just cant do that. I said she could come and I didnt care if she told my dad. I said I dont think its that big of a deal .. but she insisted it is. So whatever ok tell whomever you want, I said.

Then my ex-BFF came to my instant messenger. It's been almost 2 yrs since weve talked but more than anyone she is who ive wanted to talk to and take to the hospital with me and come home to help me after. I love my mom but we have lots of differences lol - She is wonderful and will be here for me too but it will be nice to have the BFF as well.

I admit Ive even had moments (during my PMS) that I almost hope it is cancer .. all that praying I've done in my lifetime, begging through tears to a what ever spirit is out there to just let me stop living .. i am so done. It wont ever change... I dont get wanting to keep playing the game if we always lose .. but its just moments.

So anyways thats where I am with that ... I still do not think this is all that big of a deal. I dont think I really have cancer .. I think I am going to have surgery, I am going to come out of it just fine and feel better than ever and figuring out how on Earth I can move to Arizona before the upcoming 40th Bday in FEB!!