It's been many a months since I put up a HNT shot ... the naughty slut in me is coming out today, and I sent my Sir a teasing picture to get it started .. and then remembered its Thursday ... HNT DAY ... and decided to put it out here :)
I started the exploration of my submission online, many years ago. I had many friends, Dominant and submissive, who I chatted with for years. One conversation had been one of those "profound talks" that I have thought about often. A Female Dominant said to me one day "If you were to ever become my submissive, I would place you over my knee and spank you until you cried" She asked me if I understood why she would do that, and I said "not to inflict pain, but to show your ownership, your Dominance over me .... it would show I was "willing to submit to her" ..
While I "knew the right answer", I don't believe I really understood it back then. What I really was thinking, and didn't says was that, I didn't think it could happen. In pain maybe, but I didnt believe that I could ever be brought to an "emotional cathartic release crying" from a spanking, or any other kind of scene. It would imply a lot of trust. I could love, I could submit, I would trust - physically, without question .. but I wasn't sure about the emotional submission .. and it took 15 yrs to find that I could.
I am collared, to a couple who I have had several emotionally strong scenes, which has been part of the connection and draw i have with them.
A few weeks ago we attended an event together. Her and I were going to do our 1first solo scene, just the 2 of us, to show off her personally made paddles. The energy was high. I was floating, I had been in my "subspace" from the start of the event, and now I was in collar, on leash, and we were going to the dungeon party. She is always beautiful, and exhibitionist me was excited even more knowing everyone was going to be watching and talking about us oO( exhibitionist, attention slut .. same thing lol)
She tied me up pretty, she touched and caressed and brought all my senses alive .. then she began spanking, and I had a flood of energy release .. I felt like crying .. it was overwhelming .. and so I let it happen. I had so many beautiful sobbing tears ... and I thought about that conversation. Being made to cry from a spanking ...I was not only submitting physically, but emotionally giving all myself to Her at that moment (and it turns out, for a little over 2 hours!) I have never felt more "submissive" , I have never felt more trust, and love, and connection ... I knew as the tears flowed that I trusted Her, that I was fully submitting to her, and they are feelings I will always cherish.
Feb 2010 I made a big move to Arizona ... but stayed with friends and all my "shit" was put into storage. FINALLY I moved into my own place and excitedly got all my stuff ... or excitedly I thought anyways lol .. unpacking is almost worse than packing!
YAAAY a couple other HNT weeks got in the way, but here is some more of my 12 day trip!
After New Mexico, I headed to LA! My 2 favorite website people were going to be there, John Baku, who was going to be on The Rev Mel show!!! I thought, well, why fly back home, when 3 days later I needed to be in San Francisco for Folsom Fair and Folsom Fringe ... so I flew to LA, was a guest in the studio for the show, and the next day drove up the Pacific Coast Hwy to San Fran!
This is a stop I made, maybe an hour into the drive -
I had to park and run across the street -
Fog and clouds went on for a long time ...
I missed the shot, but in Malibu I saw
Hold on to your hat..
T'was MALIBU BARBIE!!
Driving her Pink Mitsubishi ...
but finally there was some sun again!
This is about 5 hours into the drive lol
Now you are going but HEY .. where is the good stuff?!
It's HNT DAY!
Well here you go!!! This is most of my black and red
The skirt here is really a dress, but is too big for me on top!
The bra here, and the garter and rose petal skirt below,
were a valentines present from my Mistress!
The wings cant be seen good, but they
are something special I picked up
in Santa Cruz a few years ago.
Ive always wanted to go to Santa Cruz,
since seeing the movie "Lost Boys", to see the boardwalk!
I was SO excited when we decided to
go a Monday after Folsom Fair - only to find
the Boardwalk closed for the season,
the day before!!
I've still not seen the Boardwalk! lol
This is another favorite, and a gift from the same Mistress.
It has really cool silver/black lace wings - though we have never
figured out how to attach them LOL
Its the same cape I used for my Kinky Pixie at Halloween!
So yes I was doing my 12 days of vacation series, when low and behold my BIRTHDAY fell upon HNT DAY!!
12 years ago today "pixie" was released into the "real world" This was one of my 1st pictures back when the transformation was taking place. I really knew nothing about the "lifestyle" and was just playing dress up at a party (my 1st orgy party!)
Several months before, I had discovered a new chat room, "submissives". I wandered in looking for kinky cyber sex, and found a whole new world. One that spoke to me, one that I related to and seem to flawlessly understand. One that I could learn and grow and achieve "meness" in.
I decided I wanted a new ID to embark on this great new adventure, this new lifestyle. I spent days trying to come up with one, when on the 27th OCT I had a dream .. about me, a pixie in wildflowers ... sparkling effortlessly along this path.
when I woke up the 28th remembering it all, I quickly jumped onto yahoo and created my new persona "pixie_in_wildflowers"
LOL and you all know whats happened from there!!
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE giggles
Just think next year Ill be a TEENAGER - then you all better look out!!!
and because its Halloween Weekend YAY here are a couple
Soooooo I know, I keep forgetting HNT DAY!! I took that fabulous 12 day vacation, that included 3 plane trips, 10 hours driving, and 4 amazing events...Its taken me this long to recover! lol I have SO many awesome shots that were taken during the trip, its hard to know where to start, so I will do a series every HNT Day until we see them all!
We will start with Evolution of the Revolution! WOW! That was an amazing event!! Although somewhat unprepared and not able to fully "glam out", I was able to do a fun photo shoot with the Amazing "Alibi"
The event was held in Albuquerque New Mexico, at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino ... and it was a top notch deal! This was the 1st year for EvoRevo and there is no doubt I will attend the 2nd event in 2011 as well!!
Halloween 2005 I was attending a play party in Vegas, and decided to be a kitty! While out looking for kitty ears, I found this amazing pink wig and fell (oddly enough) in love with it!!
It was the beginning of what has turned into a "pink fetish"!