Wednesday, May 12, 2010

HNT ~ knife play

This was one of my very first knife play scenes

I got to wear pink princess panties
to be cut off me .. it was SO hot!

clicky click click *smiles*

She used pretty pink stuff
and rope to bind me ...
and fur to tease me with!
along with other toys that made it into the shot :)


HAPPY HNT!



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OK .. its that time ..

I need to start looking for a job. That means I need to decide what I want to do with my life. With my lack of experience at anything other than inbound customer service jobs, and my chronic fatigue which limits how much standing/lifting/physical activity I can do, it makes that decision so much more difficult.

I am not office secretary/receptionist material .. I simply can not do the 8-5 Mon-Fri dress up kinda thing. Im not organized and whilst I am familiar with, I dont really know many Office Programs.

Ive tried data entry before .. but it's ona those things I am just not good at .. the chronic fatigues short term memory lapses, really have me struggling to look at something and remember it long enough to look at where I am entering it to, and then enter it .. sounds silly I know but its the best explanation I can give until you experience it

No restaurant or food service .. just not physically able

I still more than anything would love to open my own store .. but the funds needed, and this economy, I just do not think it would be feasible at this time. I would love to work in a fun little shop of some sort but, most wont pay enough ... right now I am living off 300 a week, and that is doable, but its still more than min wage will make me.

I thought abut maybe be an airport shuttle driver, but quirky me is convinced some serial killer/rapist is going to end up on a long drive alone with me and *POOF* no more pixie .. (it COULD HAPPEN!! lol)

Im also scared of what will happen to me emotionally ... blah ... I know I am going to end up back on the phones, that's just what it is I know how to do ..


Yeah I know, I am a total dork .... just to top off all of my other quirks lol

so anyways .. the job hunt begins Monday .. will keep ya posted!

Tragic's Wake ...

Soooo what seems forever ago now I found me an internet "twin", GrrlTragic, twitter... funny enough though, this is my 2nd internet "twin" .. the 1st one shares my real name with me!

My girl Tragic however ... wow ... the life coincidences we share are eerie sometimes! (like she shares the same 1st and middle name of my adopted mom, for one!)

She has been on an evolving path of her life lately (another thing we are sharing!), a rather profound one .. and had a calling for a change, for a rebirth of her existence ... and in that, Tragic's Wake has been born, and is being brought to life.

She will captivate and entrap you *winks* well worth your internet time to go check her out!!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Back on track ...

OK well I hope anyways. Someone made a post the other day on FetLife and I gave my "typical pixie advice". It has really been making me think though, ever since I posted it, how I don't really practice what I preach (because its much easier that way lol)

The topic was about how the person felt they were "angry" or had a "temper" all the time lately and how they, nor people around them, were liking it. My advice was, its a choice .. all our reactions and responses to life around us is a choice. I suggested not to react/respond to anything without a 30 minute breather. Stop and think about what was about to be said or done, and see if that is how you really want to be.

For me, the response / reaction I don't like is, well almost that I am being "a drama queen" - I've had some crazy ass shit dealt to me in 2010 ... and I keep whining about it. I tell everyone about it. I stay wrapped up in it, because its safe. I've spent the last 8 weeks, plus a few more on and off before that, living completely out of my comfort zone. That has put me into some what of a panicked, I'm scared mode.

On top of that I am trying my darndest to learn to be sociable. Problem with that is, and why Ive never been sociable, is, I just dont know how lol .. I dont have anything to talk about .. except this crazy drama shit thats been going on, and so thats what comes out of my mouth. Otherwise I just sit there feeling like an idiot because I have nothing to talk about it.

Thursday night coffee is a good example. I keep going, but, I just sit there .. looking at everyone chit chatting and what not and I feel like the outsider. Im not, I mean they all know me, I know most of them, they are just visiting and conversing, but I just feel out of place and uncomfortable and sit there feeling like I am an idiot .. desperately trying to think of something to say .. to fit in.
Usually its not so bad around lifestyle people, because lifestyle stuff generally comes up .. and that is what like the only thing "I know" that "I'm comfortable" with .. but thats only minutes of the evening .. I have hours to fill.

Anyways .. I realized that I myself need to step back and think about my reaction and responses. Im known to all for being the happy go lucky smiling pixie, but Ive not let her out for months now .. hell, I dont want to be around me, I cant imagine anyone else wanting to be either lol ...

I do think some of this has to do with coming out of winter .. I did still spend most of winter in the cold and dark of the midwest so Im thinking winter blahs still got a lil piece of me, and then turning my whole life upside down to move to Arizona didnt help ( well ok it DID help, just in different ways lol)

SO .. im back now .. on track I hope to being the happy go lucky submissive girly girl I am :)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

HNT ~ magical gardens


This was taken at the Bellagio Hotel Gardens
Las Vegas 2008

Every holiday/season they decorate the gardens
This was one of my favorite themes ever!!
The garden was filled with all sorts of magical creatures!!

It is one of my favorite pics of myself :)

The beautiful dress was a gift from Ms Serendipity
She brought it back from Hawaii for me!!

Happy HNT!!

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Thursday, April 29, 2010

It was bound to happen ...

Ive been "feeling it" for several months now, even before I moved to Arizona .. the inevitable "ive not been pulled over in about 13 yrs now, it will happen anytime now" I am a good driver. I rarely speed (hwys excluded), I obey signs and lights .. Im a courteous driver (hey they cant hear me cursing and wishing evil thoughts upon them for their stupid driving lolol )

See, I seem to get pulled over, for something silly, about once every 10 yrs or so .. The last time was Oct 97, and I was going 3 miles over the speed limit. It was a very rare 80degree day in omaha and I had the top down on my 89 ford mustang (yeah, the V8!)

I had just left a wedding, and there was a little over an hour until the reception, and we passed out local hang out bar on the way, so several of us were heading for 1 drink before the party! I was going down a road I traveled every single day, it ran in front of my apt .. and BOOM cop jumps out in front of me and I almost hit him (i was the last in the line of our bar convoy!) .. he said, do you know why I pulled you over, and I replied "because i was speeding?" I knew I was, and knew it was less than 5 miles over ...(43 in a 40!) .. anyways, he came back after running my stuff and told me "because you were being smart, im going to give you a ticket" ** eye roll ** the ticket was 5.00 more than taking the silly driver ed class thingy, so I did that and all was well ..lol

The very 1st time I was pulled over, was to get my intransits checked for legality (which they were!) .. however, the family dog had been picked up by the humane society, and he hadnt had his shots yet (because he was picked up before and caught kennel cough and we had to wait to vaccinate until he was well!!! - neighbor girl would open our gate and let him out so she could knock on the door to play with sister) ... when I get pulled over, turns out I had a warrant for my arrest, from the humane society .. it was a saturday and I spent several hours in jail until I could reach a family member to come bail me out ... (and as stupid as it sounds that I went to jail for that, it almost happened again to me in 2004 when the household dog was in our own yard with no leash, and they called him to the curb and picked him up .. I refused to pay the fine, they put a warrant out for my arrest! WTF??)

So tonight, it was a friends birthday ... she asked me to bring a couple shots of vodka to the Thursday Night Coffee. 1st off, it is freaking cold out in Az today .. I put on a turtle neck, and sweatshirt to go to coffee. 2nd, Before coffee, we went to a movie and dinner, and I had decided, I didnt want to go to coffee ... buuuuuut it was the friends bday and I promised I would go and bring her the vodka. We all know (well ok MOST of you know lol and you will now!) that I also have maryjane in my car .. I had smoked on the drive to coffee and was high as a kite (thank god it had been a good 10 minutes since I stopped and I drove with the window down!!!)

I was about to turn into coffee when BAAAM .. I see the lights start flashing in my mirror - MOTHER FUCKER .. I KNEW I had not been speeding .. but I had no idea what I had just happened .. I literally just put my new plates on the car this week and my sticker is partially covered by the new plate holder .. soooo I thought maaaaybe that was it.

see?

The 1st thing I did was put my coat over the vodka ( it was in a fiji water bottle so it probably would have been ok!) .. then prayed you couldnt really smell anything ...

He came to my window, I was shaking like a leaf and handed him my license and registration - he asked "Do you have any guns, knives, drugs or alcohol in your vehicle" and I was like, oh no Sir .. did I do something wrong? He said I had committed a traffic violation .. I was like "oh"

He went and ran my stuff, came back and said .. you know when you go to the red light on the off ramp and turned on to blah blah street .. there are 2 signs that say "no right turn on red" - I was like, no way? I swear, i didnt see them or I would not have turned ( FUCK FUCK FUCK I KNEW about the damn signs and TOTALLY forgot .. I WAS HIGH! *giggles*) I said, I am new here, I really didnt see them, I promise I will be more careful .. He says "well it is dark, and both signs are across the street ( 5 lanes .. in the dark .. damn right I didnt see it! IM HIGH!) be more careful and have a good night and went on his merry way ...

There is the most beautiful shining full moon out tonight ( it made me cry on the way home the magic was so beautiful ) .. I thanked the Goddess that this had went off without an issues. I have had a strange bout of bad luck since 2010 began and while all of it in some way or another has been beneficial, it has sometimes been dealt in a "fuck me hard" kinda way .. I really didnt need for this lesson to go that way. It would have been bad bad bad.

So yeah, I should be good several more years again now *smiles*

Thank You Goddess!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

woohoo its a sex toy contest!!

OOOOK ..
its not my sex toy contest,
BUT
there IS a contest!!

Its being run for an awesome new sex toy,
The BNaughty Bullet Vibe!

by:
one of my favorite twitters and bloggers,
AshlyStar - Not Your Average Chick!

She has some very simple and easy
contest participation rules that you can check out here:

"First Sex Toy Give Away"


SOOOOO go check it out NOW!
YOU COULD WIN!!